Maritzia’s Thoughts

I knew I forgot something I wanted to say!  The coordinator for the local campaign for Barack Obama came by last night and we redid the website.  I’m actually quite proud of it, especially considering we finished it in about 2 hours *laughs*.  Well, I’d been working on the template off and on for a couple of weeks, but the actual guts of the site we put together in two hours last night.  Tell me what you think.

Whatcom for Obama 

I don’t often remember my dreams, even though I know I dream often, so when I do remember them, I tend to really take notice of them. I’ve always tend to have dreams with recurring themes, one of the most common of which is being in runaway vehicles. From what I’ve read, vehicles tend to signify power, and runaway vehicles signify powerlessness. That symbology has certainly rung true for me in these dreams and represented what I was felling quite well.

The other night, I dreamed that I was with my sister, who is an accountant at a hospital. She was at the hospital applying for a cleaning job to supplement her income. While I was waiting for her, there was a family with four kids sitting around me, and they were passing burritoes back and forth between them and across me, spilling burrito innards on me with each pass. This understandable annoyed me, so I went outside to get the car while I was waiting. Outside was the CEO of the hospital waiting by the car, which was a big black luxury car. He was quite concerned that I was not delayed or put out in any way. I got in the car and was driving around the circle in and out of the hospital entry while waiting for my sister to finish.

I thought a good bit about this dream before coming up with an interpretation. Money has, indeed, been tight for us and it is something that has worried me a good deal. I’m the kind of person who just cannot see solutions sometimes until suddenly they came upon me in a flash. A couple of days before this, I sat down with all of my bills, going through them and decideing what to do when one of these flashes hit me and I know how I was going to work through everything. This dream, I think, was a confirmation of my feelings that this will all work out. For once, I was not in an out of control car, but rather in full control of quite a nice vehicle (we drive a little compact in real life). It’s a turning point for me, I think, in really starting to feel in control of my destiny. That doesn’t mean that life won’t throw me surprises, of course. Just that for once in my life, I actually feel up to dealing with those circumstances.

Last night I dreamed that the host home parents for our teen shelter at work were summarily fired and Mark and I were going to get their jobs *laughs*. We’ve talked alot about that lately and have decided that it really is something we’d like to do when the opportunity arises. Both of us come from abusive backgrounds, and we have worked really hard over the years to deal with the emotional and psychological damage we suffered. We believe we truly have something special to offer these kids that someone without that background can never offer. We know, instinctively, where they are coming from and what they’re feeling. It helps that I’m pretty intuitive, and Mark, of course, is a full blown empath. In some ways it makes the work harder emotionally for us, but so much more satisfying in the end when we can really reach out and touch these kids.

Speaking of which, I’ll be doing respite at the home this weekend, so probably won’t be on-line. I’ve got some things I want to post, though, so if I get access and have time, I might update. Who knows?

Ohhhh….look what I learned to do *points to the right of the screen*.

I’ve been reading Problogger to get some ideas for maximizing my blog. Wow….there is so much information there. I’m still wading through it all. But the big thing I learned was about RSS Feeds. No longer do I have to click on each blog in my list every day to see if there’s been an update. If they have RSS feeds enabled, I can subscribe to the feed and get all the updates easily. *giggles to herself* I’m so excited. I hope all of my regular reads have RSS enabled.

So, if you want to see when I update, subscribe using one of the links in the column to the right. And thanks for reading!

I was following a discussion on a mailing list to which I belong, and someone mentioned the power of our thoughts, not only over ourselves, but over our magic as well. I believe that our thoughts hold great power over us. They constantly affect not only us but the energy we send out into the world as witches. It is so important to practice discipline over out thoughts, to positively change the negative, the intolerant, and especially the self-abusive thoughts that can constantly run through our minds. Especially if you are from an abusive background, the litany of constant self-abuse that can run through our heads tends to affect every emotional response we have. It’s so important to learn to think for yourself rather than just let the tapes of other people’s opinions run your life and form your opinions. If you are consumed by negative self-thoughts, those thoughts will color every magickal act you make.

I know that Stuart Smiley of SNL fame has given affirmations a bad name, but they can be a great tool towards negating the negative self-image many of us had branded into our psyches while growing up. If you are constantly being battered internally by the words of others, take time every day to look youself in the eye in the mirror and repeat the good things about yourself, especially the things that negate the negative opinions in your head. Even if you don’t believe those things now, eventually just hearing them every day will make a difference. As they say in AA, fake it till you make it! Words have energy. Use them to help yourself!

…and as usual, I’m hopelessly behind. I’m at the 7400 word mark at the moment, but catching up quickly when I actually get time to write.

For anyone masochistic enough to be interested, here’s the link to my NaNo profile which includes an exerpt of the novel so far: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/151099

Warning, it is very bad writing which has had zero editing. Don’t blame me if your eyes bleed.

One of the reasons I’m so far behind is that NaNoWriMo is that our agency’s main annual fundraiser is this month, so work is crazier even than normal. If anyone out there actually has money and is interested in a worthwhile organization for your charitable giving, you won’t find one better than Northwest Youth Services. I know most of you are as poor as I am, but still, you never know *grins*.

stolen shamelessly from witchofthewildwood.

Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you’re interested in/curious about - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favorite shoes. Leave your choice here as a comment, and I will reciprocate by taking the pictures and posting them as an entry. That way you get to know a little bit about my life.

If you want to do this in your journal, pass it on! I know I’m interested in your lives and would love to see more

Yes, boys and girls, it is once again time for NaNoWriMo, otherwise known as National Novel Writing Month. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s a link. Be a good little boy or girl and follow the link (don’t worry, it opens another page so you can keep reading here). So, time to throw ourselves to the mercy of the muse and attempt to put 50,000 words to paper in 30 days.

Last year, I decided to do NaNoWriMo at the last minute (like on November 2nd), so I had no preperation at all. I hadn’t so much as an outline or a character list, just a vague idea for a story. This year, I’m working at being a bit more prepared. I have about 1/3 of the story outlined. I’ve got about 1/2 the characters planned out. I need to buckle down in the next couple of weeks and get more of the prep work done so I can hit the ground running on November 1st.

So, who else here is a crazy person and signing up for NaNoWriMo. I finished last year on my first attempt, so this year I’m psyched!

I know I haven’t been posting much lately, but I have been incredibly busy. One of the reasons I’ve been so busy is because the drug I’m taking for the fibromyalgia has been so incredibly effective (milnacipran, look it up). And incredible isn’t an understatement. It’s a wonder drug….honestly, it is. I have so much more energy, and so much less pain. Before I started on this clinical trial, I pretty much went to work and went home and vegged. I had no energy for anything else and even just going grocery shopping over the weekend could mean that I didn’t make it through the whole work week the next week.

So, I was at my regular appointment with my study coordinator today, and she mentioned that they are still looking for participants for the clinical trial. I would have mentioned this here before, but I was erroneously under the assumption that the trial had closed to new participants…but it turned out that was just the double-blind portion of the trial. The current trial is a 3 year open label trial. You get study medications for free and they pay you for each study visit you make. There are study centers across the country, so you don’t have to live in a particular geographical region. So, if you have fibromyalgia and are interested in participating in this study, go to http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct/show/NCT00314249?order=14 to get more information.

Seriously, folks, we’re talking serious wonder drug.

A couple of caveat’s….be aware that you will have to wash off of all pain meds (except over the counter) and all antidepressants for two weeks prior to starting the trial. That’s one of the main reasons they are having trouble finding participants. Not many people want to go off of their drugs, which I understand entirely. You have to decide if the possibility of future improvement is worth the month or so of increased pain and fatigue until the new drug kicks in. If you’re able to do it, though, I do highly recommend trying to qualify for the trial. The more people they can get for the trial, the sooner it gets approved by the FDA and the sooner the medication becomes widely available to folks with FMS throughout the country.

If you don’t have FMS but know someone with it, forward the link to them

That is all. You may continue with your daily web-browsing.

Have you ever had someone who just drives you nuts from A-Z?  I just spent some time with one who may be a nice enough person, but everything she says tends to just scrape my nerves raw.   Luckily, I don’t think I’m going to have to work with her too much, because if I had to spend any length of time with her, I’d be running out of the room ripping my hair out.

*sighs*

There, I’m better now.  I don’t want to turn this into a whining journal.  I just needed to say that.

I found this on a friend’s Livejournal (you can blame nightsinge).

Be sure to click on the circle in the middle several times.  It changes each time.

http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html