Maritzia’s Thoughts

If you dislike foul language, I’d suggest you just skip on to the next entry in my journal, because there’s about to be a huge rant with much profanity involved!

Okay, you asked for it!

(more…)

From Witches Wit and Wisdom: 

 Grab that book meme.
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.
Well, I’m at work and strangely enough, the only book I have at hand is a D&D manual *laughs*

So, page 123, 5th sentence: “The armor check penalty and armor bonus for hastily donned armor are each 1 point worse than normal.”

Does that have something to say to me in my current circumstances?  Maybe…don’t react hastily to the current stresses.  Take time to consider and meditate, and when you make a decision, you’ll know it’s the right one.

The universe has some funny ways of telling you things sometimes, doesn’t it?  Who’d think I’d find a bit of wisdom in a D&D manual *laughs*.

So, if you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged.  Post a link to your blog with your bit of “book at hand” wisdom.

So, I told you the boss is leaving.  Well, they are going to make the Associate Director the Interim Director for at least a year.  It’s possible if she does well, she’ll eventually be offered the Director position.  Anyway, she has a secretary already, and I’m pretty sure she’ll want to keep her.  So, my boss and I are supposed to sit down when he gets back from town to talk about how all this is going to impact me and what he can do to help me have a “soft landing” as he puts it.

 You know, I love being an administrative assistant.  I like working directly for one person.  But the problem with that is, if you work for someone who is good at what he does and is ambitious, he eventually leaves you and your stuck with this kind of situation.  This is the second time in 6 years I’ve been through this.  So, we just wait and see whats going to happen.

At the same time, my mother-in-law just found out that her downstairs neighbors are moving in two weeks.  Which leaves a nice apartment with a great yard downstairs from her available.  We’ll be right there if she needs anything, and we can be together more, which we’d all like.  The only problem is that the landlord is saying no more dogs, and we’ve got three.  But, I know he likes Wiebke and wants her to stay, and if we’re there, it most likely we and she will be wanting to stay somewhat more long term than Wiebke was thinking.  So that’s a plus for him.  She’s going to call him and talk to him tonight.  It depends on how much he wants for it and if he’s open to our dogs.  The current tenants are paying, I believe, $800 CD, which would be a significant savings over our current rent.  Even if he went up to $1000 CD, it would work out about the same as we currently have, even with the cost of commuting.  I don’t think Canadian Immigration will have a problem with it as long as I maintain a job here in the US, and it would give us a leg up in applying for residency status for me in Canada.  Well, that’s another thing we have to wait and see on.

Mark sent his program off to his friend at CN.  John thinks it’s really good.  It still needs some tweaks, but he was quite impressed with the functionality Mark has built into it.  With any luck, that will bring a bit more money into the house, especially since we’re not sure where my job stands at the moment.  Yes, yet a third thing to wait and see about *laughs*.

I’ve mentioned, I believe, that I’m not really good at waiting?  Nope, it’s not my forte at all.  That J in my INFJ is a pretty pronounced one.  So, needless to say, I’m stressing right and left at the moment.  But, this too shall pass.  Whatever happens, I firmly believe it happens for a reason.  We just have to wait and see what the reason is….

Arggghhh….more waiting!

Yes…again…

I’ve had marginally more energy this week, so I decided it’s time to try working on the grounding exercise again. I tried in the morning, but I tend to just fall asleep, so I thought I would try some while I was taking the doggies out before bed this evening.

I started by taking my shoes off and standing barefoot in the yard (I made sure the spot was free of dog poop and creepy crawlies *laughs*). I did some deep breathing exercises for a minute, then started picturing myself sprouting roots deep into the earth. As I sent my roots deeper and deeper, I pictured myself pulling in energy from the earth, and as I did, I sent my arms up toward the sky and pictured limbs and leaves sprouting. I felt the leaves taking the sunshine and using it to produce energy while breathing out all the impurities and contaminants in my system. As I breathed in, I pulled energy and life from the earth and as I breathed out I let go of the negativity and pain through my leaves.

I did this for a couple of minutes, and then decided to sit down. My balance is rather poor and I felt uncomfortable just standing there. However, when I sat down, although I still had my bare feet against the ground, I felt like, without my weight on my feet, that I had lost some of the connection with the earth, and I just couldn’t feel the same energy. So, I discarded my chair and continued for several minutes standing. I finished by gathering up the excess energy and picturing it flowing into my arms, and as I bent over and pressed my hands to the ground, I pictured the excess energy flowing back into the earth, but keeping the energy I needed. I finished by thanking the Goddess and the Gods for all the wonderful things this day had brought…the warm sun, the cool breeze, and the delightful call of a bird that sounded just as I was finishing my meditation.
It’s been a while since I’ve done any guided imagery, and I was surprised how fast I flowed back into it. Now that I know I do better standing, I’ll try it in the morning, too, to get energy for the day.

One thing that really surprised me was that the dogs didn’t bark. After my initial warning to them to not bark, they just ran around the yard sniffing at things, which is quite unusual for them. They’re miniature dachshunds, and they yip at every bird chirp.

So, that was my first experience with this exercise. I thought I would work on this for a week and then move on to the next.

The boss is leaving.  The university wouldn’t take the step organizationally that he needed for them to take, so he’s taking the offer out of Chicago.  What that means for me is hard to say.  They will probably make the associate director the interim director, and she says they tend to leave those in place for a long time (sometimes years) as long as things are running well.  The thing is, she already has a secretary, so where does that leave me?

Needless to say, my stomach is in knots.  I’m trying really hard to take a wait and see attitude, but my first impulse whenever I have trouble is to jump ship and run.  It’s what I do.  I’m trying not to let that part of me take over, but to wait and see what the Divine has to tell me about all of this.  If I *am* supposed to move on, I’m sure I’ll see the signs.  So, until then, I wait.

So, if I’m really bitchy in the coming weeks, you’ll know why *laughs*.  I don’t wait well.

I stole this from Yellowdog Granny, but I’ve been sitting on it for about a week so I could think about it.  It’s always interesting to look at yourself in different ways and define yourself with new words.

If I were…

…a month, I would be February.  Yeah, the cold can be terrible, but if you can get past that, the brisk wind will bring color to your cheeks, playing in the snow will bring laughter to your lips, and the glory of the sunset will bring joy to your heart.
…a day of the week, I would be Friday….the day you are finally sure you’re going to make it through the week to the weekend.
…a time of day, I would be that warm comfortable time when you are just falling asleep and you know everything will be alright…unless I hate you, then I’m the nightmare that keeps you up *laughs*.
…a sea animal, I would be one that is ugly as hell to look at, but is dreadfully useful in all kinds of ways.
…a direction, I would be circular….always moving forward, but not forgetting to look back.
…if I was a sin, I would be pride…because pride is necessary to drone out that voice in the back of our minds telling us that we aren’t good enough.
…a historical figure, I would be Helen Keller….or maybe her teacher, Annie Sullivan…both women who overcame huge obstacles in their lives and used the lessons learned to reach out to others.
…a planet, I would be Mars…big …fat…and red…. (*laughs* This was yellowdog granny’s response, and sadly enough, it fits me quite well)
…if I were a liquid, I would be an ice cold coke on a blisteringly hot Texas day….refreshing once you get past the bite and the cold headache *laughs* 
…a stone, I would be sandstone…I look hard, but crubles easily if you hit it just right.
…if I was a tree, I’d be the one you’d cut down to build your barn.
….if I was a bird, *laughs* I’d be one of those annoying blue jays, always squaking about things.
…a flower/plant…hmmmm…that’s a hard one…I’m not exactly decorative, nor am I necessarily sweet smelling….I’d say I’m a blossom that becomes a nice juicy fruit to pick you up when you’re hot and tired.
kind of weather…I would be a Texas summer thunderstorm with lots of wind and lightning.
…mythical creature, I’d be a zombie….I certainly feel like the walking dead often enough *laughs*.
….musical instrument, I’d be a banjo…decidedly country and hard to play, but with practice, I’ll make beautiful music for you.
…if I was an animal, I would be a cat…kind of stand offish and demanding…but loves to be petted when I get to know you.
…if I was a color, I’d be a calm blue sky, but with streaks of red when a storm’s brewing.
…if I was an emotion, I’d be the feeling you get when you realize someone really understands you. 
…..if I was an element, I would definitely be earth.  If I was a Hogwart’s school, I’d be Hufflepuff…I’m the one who gets things done, moves things forward…I’m not brilliant or beautiful or energetic…but I’m always there when you need something. 
…a song, I would be “That’s My Job” by Conway Twitty.  I’m not the kind of person who does big things.  I’m the kind of person who is in the background helping others do big things.
…a movie, I’d be a simple character film…no action, just wonderful characters interacting.
…a book, I’d be a Louisa May Alcott novel…simple but enduring.
…a food, well, I’d be a casserole, something comforting but with a bit of spice.
…a place, I’d be a dusty country road.  The kind of place you drive down on your way home.
…taste, I’d be white rice…because I go well with almost anything.
…a scent, I’d be KL (it’s the only perfume I wear).
…a religion, I’d have to be the do it yourself kind.  No doctrines, just a personal path.
…a word…*laughs* probably dammit…my favorite curse word, I use it alot. 
…if I were a body part,  I’d be a foot, kicking someone in the ass.
…a facial expression, I’d be an intent scowl maintained to keep from laughing. 
…subject in school, I’d be biology….I love all things biological…I should have been a doctor.
…cartoon character, I’d be Thelma…you know…the nerdy girl on Scooby Doo.
….shape? *laughs* round….very, very round.
…a number, I’d be 2…I do really well at one on one relationships, but I suck at groups.
…a peice of jewelry, I’d be a funky brooch you’re grandmother gave you.  It doesn’t fit in everywhere, but still, it’s nice to have.
…a piece of furniture, I’d be a big, overstuffed rocker that you retreat to when the world is mean to you.
…and last but not least, if I was a piece of clothing, I’d be your ratty old comfy sweater that you wear around the house.  It’s old and worn out, but you couldn’t possibly part with it.

The Blogging Chicks blogroll has it’s 2nd carnival up.  Be sure to check them out.  There’s a nice cross section of women bloggers there, including your’s truly.

Another blog I’d like to offer up for your perusal is Joseph’s Left One.  He’s an ex-mormon who writes of his disillusionment in such a way that you feel everything that he feels.  I highly recommend it if you like good writing.

We ran the roads a good bit yesterday.  We went to Marilyn’s Yarn Store (if you’re in the Bellingham area, I highly recommend them.  Very helpful and informative, especially if you’re new to knitting), and I got a nice skein of blue lambs wool with a skein of red silk for accent for a project I’m planning to felt.  I’ll let you know how it turns out, since I’m pretty much winging this.  There’s not really a pattern so I have to figure it out as I go along.

Then we went to the bookstore where I picked up The Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, as well as some gardening/cooking/crafts book that were on the bargain shelf.  After all, you can never have too many books.  And to underline that concept, I stopped into the library to pick up 6 books I reserved.

Really, isn’t the internet a wonderful thing?  I can go on-line, search the library’s card catalogue, reserve the books, and when I go in, the books are sitting on the shelf waiting for me, and I can check myself out at a self-checkout station.  I love technology, especially when it makes it easier for me to get books!

Lastly we went to a Futon store, but my goodness is their stuff way overpriced.  If I’m going to pay $1500 for a sofa that turns into a bed, I’ll go buy a reallly nice hideabed sofa for that money.  We’ll keep an eye out on garage sales to see if we can find a futon cheaper.  I’d really like to get something better for the mother-in-law to sleep on when she’s visiting us.  At the moment, all we have are a couple of foamies that we put on the floor for her.  But since we actually like for her to visit, we’d like to encourage it with a better place for her to sleep.   Hence the search for a futon.  Someday, we’d like to have a small house out in the country with enough land that she can have her own little cottage right there.   That would be our ideal.  I’m very lucky that I have such a great mother-in-law.  I’ve heard so many MIL horror stories, and mine is just a doll.  Her lifestyle and ours really mesh well, so that when she’s here, it’s not much different than when she isn’t, except that we get to play Canasta!  Which, unfortunately, she usually wins *laughs*.

When we got home yesterday, I set Wiebke up with a blog on my domain.  She’s always wanted to write, and I thought this might help encourage her to do so.  I don’t know if she’ll make it public or not, but I do hope she writes *nudge, nudge* (yes, I’m pretty sure she’ll read this *laughs*).

Well, that’s all that’s fit to print.  Have a beautiful and blessed day, all.

I’m always running across interesting people as I surf the web, and you know, I never share them with you folks who read my blog.  So, today I’m a sharin’ (sorry, the lady in question is a Texan, and she’s bringin’ out mah accent here).  If you are offended by profanity, I suggest you not follow this link *laughs*, but I really do get a kick out of her blog.  I don’t agree with everything she posts, but I do a great deal of it, and besides, the way she puts things amuses me!  So, without further ado, here’s YellowDog Granny.  Enjoy!

In other news, the mother-in-law is in town.  She’s doing tremendously better on her medication.  I’m just so happy to see her feeling better and more positive.  We were really worried about her for a while.  Anyway, we’re planning to take a day drive over the 4th of July weekend, probably east from Sedro Wooley.  We haven’t been doing much driving lately because of gas prices, and I do miss it.  It’s always been one of my favorite pass times.

It looks like my boss has gotten another job offer.  He’s negotiating the package now, and if they make him a reasonable offer, he’ll probably use that to negotiate here for a better deal.  If he doesn’t get it, then it’ll be sayonara boss.  And that’s a real shame because I really will miss him.  He’s a great guy to work for.

 I’ve got a ton of books to pick up at the library this weekend.  I’ve decided to do some reading about the celtic Gods and Goddesses since Celtic spirituality and culture has always been a great draw for me.  If gas wasn’t so high and my energy so low, I would go to the Celtic Catholic Church in Seattle occasionally.  But that isn’t to be for a time.  Maybe after Mark gets work.

Speaking of Mark, he’s still plugging away on his program.  He made a big screw up last week when he was trying to work with a headache and in fixing it, he figured out how to fix the multi-threading issue he had been trying to find a work around for!  Yay husband!  Anyway, he’s hoping to get the project finished and send it off to CN next week to see if they like it.  Whether they buy it or not, it’s been great experience for him working with .net.

I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in 2 weeks to discuss the thyroid issue.  I have no idea if she’ll even be open to discussing a TSH suppressive dose of thyroid, but I have all my information printed out to give her.  Cross your fingers, pray, cast spells…whatever you’re into…that I get the thyroid dose I need.

 And that’s all for today.  Have a good weekend folks.

Check ‘em out.  The full blog roll can be found on my Blogrolls page.  Just click on Pages on the right had sidebar and then on Blogrolls.

It comes as no surprise to anyone who has read this blog for more than 5 minutes that I consider myself at least somewhat Pagan and am very attracted to Wicca and to the Reclaiming tradition.  The one thing I’ve always felt a disconnect on is this whole idea of “earth based religion”.  I mean, when I think about earth based, I think about camping and hiking and being generally outdoorsy, which I *so* am not.  Nope, don’t like the whole outdoorsy thing.

Except, I was reading some other blogs today and several were talking about their gardens and how they reconnect them with Mother Earth.  Well, that made me sit back and think, because I actually do love my garden.  I’m not much into flowers and what not, but I love growing food.  I’d love some day to have a big place outside of town where I can have a big garden, maybe some livestock and chickens.  My grandfather had a small farm when I was a kid, and I loved spending time with him in the garden.

After reading the blogs, I was thinking about why I didn’t put a garden in this year.  The short reason, of course, is that I don’t have much energy this year.  I put in a garden last year with flagging energy and it was just a disaster.  The weeds mostly ate everything, because I just didn’t enjoy getting in the garden last year.  I was so anemic that it took everything I had just to go to work every day, so the garden was neglected.  I thought to myself, “I didn’t get as much energy out of the garden last year as I was putting into it…..”  That’s when it struck me.  I really *do* get energy from working in the garden.  Yeah, I get physically tired when I do gardening, but in the long run, it gives me more energy than I put into it.  That’s why I didn’t enjoy it last year.  My energy levels were so low to start with that I was too drained to pull energy back from the earth as I worked.  

I really do connect with Mother Earth, in my way.  Maybe I’m not such a bad Pagan after all *grins*.

I’m looking forward to next year when I can put in a really nice garden.